Fear of garlic

Loose change, and good stories, come to us when we least expect them. And so it is with today’s blog entry. I was interviewing Patsy, a marketing rep for a global supplier of garlic, for a story I needed to write. The interviews always swing between the info you need to get the work done, and the personal insights offered to keep things interesting.

Well, a half hour prior to calling Patsy, there I was at the chopping block in my kitchen, cutting up a storm. It’s been unseasonably cool here in Colorado, and enough so that we are on snow alert for tonight, June 1. The Pacific Coast is also having some topsy-turvy weather, which Patsy called the “June Swoon.” So I decide this is a perfect opportunity to crank up the crock pot and have a nice vat of potato soup at the ready for my evening repast. So I am throwing ingredients into the crock pot right and left and am down to my final addition which is, ironically, minced garlic.

I gave up looking at the “minced-garlic-converted-to-measuring-spoon” info years ago, as I love garlic. No doubt my appreciation comes from another friend from years ago, a best friend who was Italian and a culinary wonder. And so I tell Patsy I have added a heaping full fork of garlic to my soup, and my house just smelled splendiferous.

Patsy and I segue from the interview and talk about the fact that some people are willing to go the extra garlic mile and get the robust flavor they crave in their dishes. And then Patsy made an observation: “Some people have a fear of garlic,” she told me.

Not only did this crack me up for the rest of our interview. In a ClintEastwoodesque second, it made my day. So much so, in fact, that I told her the comment would be the launching-off point of this week’s blog entry.

Launching-off point is the operative phrase here, folks. I googled “fear of garlic” and darn, there actually is such a thing! Fear of garlic = Alliumphobia. I kid you not! There is a whole website dedicated to fears and phobias, and it is in and of itself truly amazing reading.

And so I wondered, since there is such a thing as fear of garlic, is there such a thing as fear of vampires? Well, of course. It’s Sanguivoriphobia, or Bogyphobia or perhaps Hematophobia. Since vampires are generally considered monsters, a person who’s afraid of them may suffer from Teratophobia, although you cannot suffer from any of these four phobias and be Alliumphobic.

Do you have a fear of vegetables? If so, you suffer from Lachanophobia, which is not to be confused with a fear of fruit, which has no phobic designation.

I love Chinese food, speaking of food (fear of eating is Sitophobia). But I have never mastered the art of eating with chopsticks. I have, in fact, made several New Year’s resolutions to learn how to employ the ancient and venerable eating device. I have utterly failed in my attempts, probably because I wasn’t persistent enough. I do not, however, experience Consecotaleophobia, the fear of chopsticks.

Nor do I suffer from Omphalophobia, a fear of belly buttons; Aulophobia, a fear of flutes; or Barophobia, a fear of gravity.

I recall an episode of the much-loved series, “Frasier” in which our radio shrink decides to ditch pop psychiatry and make a go of a real-life practice. His patient had a fear of Bozos – clowns, not the weird people you have to deal with during the course of your day. She screamed at the pancake makeup and flippered feet. That was a hoot, but there’s a name for it: Coulrophobia.

A fear of light flashes is Selaphobia. So I guess a fear of hot flashes is Steamylaphobia.

I really like this one. If you have a fear of Friday the 13th, chalk it up to Paraskavedekatriaphobia. I wonder how long the fear of Friday the 14th is?

Do you resent the fact that you are ignored by your significant other? There’s a word for that: Athazagoraphobia. You would never want to confuse this with Arachibutyrophobia, the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.

Oh, so many phobias…so little time.