The other day, I decided it was time to dust off a cheesecake recipe I’ve treasured since I was 17. The recipe was one I got from the mother of my first boyfriend (Mrs. Boyer, I still thank you for this incredible concoction), and it was been well used and widely appreciated throughout the years. My dad was a cheesecake afficinado, and the recipe quickly gained a reputation as the foundation for a great let’s-get-together-and spoil-ourselves coffee klatch.
Perhaps one just marvels at the wonders of pastries and pies when one is still a teenager. But this is the recipe that helped me appreciate where my dad was coming from, and actually contributed to my buying spring form pans and getting into the gourmet cheesecake cooking mode as an adult. If you know anything about cheesecake, you know that they come in two broad categories: wet and dry. If you are a cheesecake snob, as I am, you opt for the dry varieties which actually make your mouth somewhat hurt with culinary delight. Here’s the analogy: it’s the same as the difference between milk and dark chocolate.
Well, the recipe from my formative years is of the other variety: a quick, wet-style cheesecake that one would describe as no-fuss, no-muss in the kitchen. A simple graham cracker crust contains the pie’s pith, which is a combination of cream cheese and whipped cream. And then, to give it color and texture, top the whole shebangie with cherry pie filling. This is also the kind of recipe that requires that the cheesecake sit a while in the frig, gathering up its powers to please.
Because I know from years and years and years of putting this dessert together that it’s a no-fail recipe, I go into the project all a-twitter. I made a quick run to my local grocery store to pick up the necessary ingredients, return to the casa and then began crush and mix and fold.
But here’s what I wasn’t prepared for. Excuse my language, but what in the hell is going on with our major food companies and the stuff they are turning out in the guise of food? Take the cream cheese (please, Groucho, take the cream cheese). OK, I did buy the lighter version of the cream cheese from the obviously well-established, but not to be named in this blog, company that purports to have the tastiest product. I know they did when I was a youngster. In fact, when getting to the part of the recipe where one creams the cream cheese, it was often a battle to get the process going, and creaming with the hand-held mixer took…well…more than a few rotations of the beaters. Not so with today’s miracle bland product. When I took it out of the package, I knew the packaging was the only thing giving the cream cheese form and perhaps substance. It was, nearly literally, jello in my hands. Quelle domage, as the French say! You could have knocked me over with a wooden spoon…
Likewise, I have to say that another company which has a long history of manufacturing graham crackers, but will also not be named in this blog, has apparently changed its secret graham cracker formula. The crackers looked as bland as yesterday’s news. I recall when I used to attack the crackers in those days of yore with the rolling pin, they would snap unwillingly to the touch. These crackers, alas, gave me a sad shrug and submitted. Unlike the cream cheese, these crackers weren’t the light version of anything. I took a taste, given how pasty looking they were, and noticed how unflavorful they were.
So the crust has been mixed together with real sugar and butter, and popped into the oven for the requisite baking time. What really worries me, since I’m waiting for the crust to cool, is that it won’t hold up once I spoon the cream cheese mixture on.
But there is a bright side. Or at least I’m hoping there is one. I still have to ladle the cherries over the top.
I’m finding it a little sad that all this monkeying has been done with products that really didn’t need to undergo a redux. Know what I mean? I get the part about cutting back on the things that we ate as children that are destined to play havoc with our biological systems now that we are much older. But my tastebuds are still intact, and they were expecting some excitement tonight.
Oh well. I guess if things don’t gel together, I can think of it as a cheesecake smoothie. Now there’s an oxymoron…
